This is Weird

I know it's crazy and really makes no sense at all, but sometimes G-man reminds me of David. His hands are David's hands. G-man's hands are nothing like his father. His dad has short stubby little sausage fingers. I mean nice hands that I know by heart but not the hands that G-man has. My G-man has long palms and abnormally (mutant-like) long fingers. I joke with him that he MUST be part Reticulan ;) He has finger and hands that, easily, cover an octave and a half on the piano. His hands dwarf mine making mine look like those of a little girl. Nobody in our families have hands like that. Nobody. I find myself saying that those hands were a little gift from David to my first born son... to remind me of him.

Today G-man wanted something and I told him he could have it if he came over and gave me a kiss and told me how much he loves me... hey when you have a 17 y/o son you take affection and words of love where you can find them. So he came up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then he held his hands up together in the position of a small child praying only with the backs touching each other not the palms. He smiled his crooked smirk and said "I love you THIS much." David used to do that. The first time he did put his hands together that way and told me he loved me that much I quirked my head to the side and said "What does that mean?" and he laughed and told me "I love you from here" he said pointing to one palm "all the way around the world to here" he said pointing to the other palm. I laughed and kissed him and a memory and inside story were created. After that he would tell me he loved that much every now and then and it always made us both smile.

I'm positive I told G-man about that when he was a little boy at some point. I don't know where or when or why. I hadn't thought of it or seen anyone do that in many many years. Then today, my 17 y/o G-man did that to me and I could look at him and see David's hands along with my son's hands and it stirred this deep loving memory of mine. I got my mind thinking that those hands really were a gift from him for my son... so that I could remember and smile again like I did when I was a 16 y/o girl in love... and smile at the way I love that boy of mine and that at 17 he'll tell me he loves me THAT much. I am so blessed. I still think of him, often, and now I remember him with smiles most of the time. Now I have this amazing son too... the son of a man that I love more than life itself and a man that understands and accepts my memories of David. Yep, BLESSED.