Remember

It was a hot summer evening. We had spent the evening out, just the two of us, which was a major switch from our normal nights when an entire gaggle of us would hang out and do stuff together... movies, hanging out at the park, getting tea at the diner, just chillin' at a friends house, sitting at the cemetery talking the nights away. Tonight it had just been us. A movie, driving around, then off to the park we had gone.

He lead me to the playground as we talked comfortably, just like we always did. I wasn't his girlfriend... nor was I blind or stupid. I knew how he felt about me. I knew that I loved him but I didn't look at him THAT way... he was my best friend... he was the guy I could tell everything and I knew he would never tell another living soul... he was really important to me. So that night we walked the long walk from the parking area to the playground. We climbed on the jungle gym. He pushed me fast and faster on the merry-go-round. We swung on the swings so high that you had that momentary feeling of weightlessness before gravity pulled you speeding toward the ground again. I showed him my expert technique for swing jumping... I think he was quietly impressed. He chased... I ran... we laughed.

He took me down in the grass near the brook. Just laid me out. At 6' 4" it wasn't hard for him to catch me... I knew that. He grabbed me and next thing I knew we were in the damp grass rolling together. He flipped me over and pinned my arms, his chest pushing down on mine and we laughed some more. Then we stopped laughing and he just looked at me. I could feel the wet grass at my back. I could hear the brook only feet away. I saw the look in his eye. I knew he wanted to kiss me... and I would have let him. The moments ticked by that seemed to last forever and I waited to see if he would kiss me. Gathering my wits about me and having been given a moment to think with his hesitation I thought better and surprised him by jumping up and running off again. I called to him over my shoulder to "come and get me" and he slowly got up from the ground and followed me. We spent the rest of the night as the best friends we were.

He always regretted that night and not just leaning in and kissing me before I had time to think clearly. I don't know if he ever knew that I would have let him... if he'd only tried. I would have let him kiss me. It was a moment. I would have kissed him right back if I hadn't had time to think. I don't know how it would have changed things or what would have happened. I don't know how it would change what did happen between us. It was a moment. One of those magical moments. I remember. I remember, DRM.