The "Castle" fan-fic I read today dealt with still grieving the death of a characters mother. In the story the character was talking about how she was "forgetting" her mother. That the memories were becoming more fuzzy around the edges and more hazy. It was like looking at them through frosted glass. So of course with my macabre personality and all I started to think of him. I realized that I can only hear his voice saying one thing in my memory... and not something wonderful like when he would say he loved me... or anything nearly so sweet... but I can remember his voice YELLING up the stairs at his brother because he was mad at him. I can still hear the timber and resonance of his very deep voice. He had a very sexy voice. All I can remember is that though when I want to hear the sound of his voice again. I can pull up his face but it is very much like seeing it through frosted glass.
I still miss him now and then. I still think of him more often than I would have thought. It's been over 25 years after all. My life is nothing like it was then. My life is full and busy and I am surrounded by people that love and adore me and I feel the same about them. Still, he is not forgotten and he is loved by me in my own way... in the way that I hold on to that part of my 17 y/o self.
Still... I miss the sound of his voice. I wish I could close my eyes and turn down the noise in my world and hear him talking in that rich lustrous voice of his. Well... some day I'll see him again and I'll smile and tell him to talk sexy to me ;)
1 comment:
<3 this. I once dated a boy who was killed in a car crash seven years ago, and I can remember the sound of his voice in general, but I don't hear words. More or less I sense his tone.
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