Little things... big repercussions...

I've been sitting around staring out the windows for the last three days now. We're having a rare bit of warm weather this late October and I am enjoying it all to the fullest. I am drinking it in and reveling in the beauty of fall and the wonderful temps. All the windows in the house are open and it smells like the autumn woods in every room. This to me is the ideal world that I wish I could live in 365 days a year. Low to mid 70's, refreshing breezes, beautiful scenery. This is my perfect place.

I am happy lately. I mean genuinely happy. For the most part, with a bump in the road here and there, I am feeling peaceful and happy. I am living my life Sin Mondingo. I am in a good place. The early in the month anniversary euphoria hasn't hurt anything either. It's just a good month for me. I love October.

Sitting here watching this perfectness that I am experiencing got me thinking about our summer. Our summer just flat out sucked rocks. I mean seriously just horrible. We did nothing. We went nowhere. Five of the kids were pushed to the side while we concentrated on Mimi and her surgery and recovery. It just struck me that one 90 min. surgery could wreak complete havoc on the lives of six people for an entire season. Mimi's abscess troubles started either 3 or 4 days after the start of summer break and she went back to school the last day of August still recuperating and not completely well yet. It just boggled my mind. One child, one problem, one major surgery and the lives of this family in chaos and turmoil for months. While other families were out vacationing and hitting the beaches or the theme parks or the playgrounds or what have you we were here with changing bandages, calling Dr.'s, changing dressing, and dealing with a child in pain and doling out the pain meds to help her as best we could. The other children were very much left on their own this summer, the older two helping the younger three as much as they could while we devoted our time and energy on helping Mimi. It got to the end of summer and I could see the disappointment and sadness in the eyes of G'man and Tinesy... the sense of a lost season palpable in the air in their presence. It was painful for them and for me (and for The Man too I'm certain).

A lost summer. For me one of the saddest parts is that we really only have G-man for one more summer and then he'll be gone. He'll be off to college and living his own life. He'll come home for summers of course, at least I assume so, and we'll still have him but he'll be different. He'll be living his own life 10 months out of the year and coming home to "visit" in between. So I lost one of G-man's last summers. That's just the way of it though. Nothing we can do about it.

So I sit here today with this peacefulness and happiness and I embrace it. I close my eyes and let the breeze wash over me and smell the damp leaves and musty soil. I feel the warm sun on my skin and remind myself that I have to hold on to this happiness because it is GOOD. It is good and I see it as good and I recognize how beautiful and special that is. I can delight in today... maybe moreso because our summer was so stressful and difficult.

Thank you God for TODAY!