where I find my inner peace... sometimes.

Listening to Spanish is like a balm to my soul. It's like going home, like falling asleep in my Opa's arms... knowing that I was safe. I know exactly why but it still stuns me how listening to the Spanish language has such an effect on my soul and can soothe me the way it does.

The last few nights I've been scouring You Tube... way too late into the night... looking for that soothing calmness that I need to desperately lately. I love watching older Ricky Martin vids... hearing him sing in Spanish, seeing the older "Latin" styled clothes he used to wear back then, hearing that Latin beat and rhythm along with the brass that shouts uncatagorically that THIS is Latin music.

It takes me back to when I was a little girl and I would sleep on the floor of my Grandparents room. I would wake up on a Saturday morning and hear the pots and pans clinking and clanking in the kitchen, news radio was just a quiet background noise, but what I remember is laying there in bed before I was alert enough to make my body move and hearing the voices of my family all speaking Spanish, frequently over each other, and talking. The lilting tone, the pace of the language, that soft sound that's easy on the ears and sweet on the tongue. Even as a little girl I would lie there and listen before getting out of bed and making my way, bleary eyed, downstairs where I would be greeted with cheers and hugs and kisses and asked what I wanted for breakfast... to which I would respond "the usual" and make my way to the table with my family all around me.

Listening to Ricky and seeing those same kinds of clothes and knowing those types of movements and the sound of the brass and those uniquely Latin rhythms takes me there again. To the heart of my family... to those soothing sweet sounds. I need more of that in my life and I'm glad that I know where to find it. It may seem silly to some, but to me it makes perfect sense.