Wow.... emotional roller coaster...

So I was right. The Man and I of course made up and everything was fine. He apologized for being a jerk and I told him while I was still hurt I just cannot stay mad at him for long. Things were a little... I dunno... touchy between us for a while I guess. I suppose what I mean by that is that I was feeling vulnerable for a little bit and The Man was handling me with kid gloves. That lasted a day. Things are good again of course. I really just cannot stay mad at him... even when I want to sometimes! LOL!

Yesterday was our anniversary and I was flooded with so many emotions. Madly in love with my husband, remembering that day 19 years ago. Looking at the pictures and seeing how absolutely beautiful he was... oh and he was. I mean he is still a good looking man, IMO, but wow.... he was stunning as a young man... just stunning. He and I danced to our wedding song in the middle of the family room along with Boo and the Kitten and that was just so nice... it made me feel all warm and happy inside. Here we were 19 years later with our two youngest, dancing and laughing to our wedding song. It was good.

We ordered out for dinner and got good old fashioned BBQ -- I got the pulled pork as always and The Man got the ribs as always. The kids got McD's and everyone was happy. After dinner The Man put the Lil' Ones down while I helped Mimi study for a SS test and helped Tinesy with some math (while I still can right? LOL).

Once the babes were down we put in our wedding video. I don't think we've watched it in years and years. I was so happy to see the video and watch everyone and the chaos and fun of the day. Then I started seeing old family members that are gone now and I just sobbed like a baby. My Opa walking me down the aisle... oh he was such a great man and I worshiped the ground he walked on. Just reminded me of how very much I miss him... and how much he would have loved my kids. Although truthfully he would have thought that we have way too many kids. So I thought of Oma and how very much I miss her. She never got to meet The Man, she never saw any of the kids (at least Opa got to see G-man once). She would have ADORED the madness and chaos of ALL the children and would have loved our big family and each child for their uniqueness and individuality. I wish she could have met them, I wish I wish I wish.

Anyway, we watched the rest of the video with my emotions soaring and diving. Watching us say our vows I felt so blessed and fortunate. Watching my Tia Mimi sitting in the church I missed her. My first dance with my father was sweet.... but then Opa came and asked to dance with me and there was one quick shot of me resting my head on his shoulder, obviously in utter bliss and feeling so good, and it took my breath away. Watching The Man and I dancing and laughing... with our friends... being silly.... cutting the cake... it was all magical.

I have to agree with what Father Marcel said during our wedding prayer. The wedding is only a day, the marriage is a lifetime. That's what it all comes down to I guess.