The Middle 'Uns

Tinsey is gone today and if I know her most likely most of tomorrow too. She's spending the majority of the weekend with a friend. They went to "River Fest" for fireworks and festivities. Her friend is an only child and so it's nice for her to have a friend along and it's nice for Tinesy away from the normal chaos and mayhem that is our family. She likes that kind of thing a lot so when she does get invited I try to say yes as often as I can, which is truthfully most of the time. This is her gig. She is our social animal of the family. Very much unlike her nearly completely antisocial older brother and her not quiet as antisocial but not very social older sister, she's just different. She has a large circle of friends that she seems to be in near constant contact with. She's always busy doing something, planning something, chatting online or sending texts (within her monthly text limit of 200). She just lives for social situations and to have friends nearby. I used to be like that as a kid so I get that.

Her absence here at home is notable. I feel her "missing." I don't know if that makes sense or not. With six kids you'd think that one being gone would be scarcely noticeable but when any of them are missing I can feel it. Down in my bones. It's like part of my psyche is missing when there is a child absent. That's how it is today with Tinesy gone. I feel her absence in the home and at the table for dinner and in the normal Lil' 'Uns bedtime routine... she loves to come up and sometimes read a book but she almost always comes up for bedtime kisses... that's just the kind of a kid she is. It would never occur to G-man or Mimi to do such a thing but Tinesy very rarely misses that opportunity. The "Babies" asked for her at bedtime and we talked about how she's not coming home today because she's with her friend Madison but that she would be home tomorrow some time. They seemed appeased by that.

I don't know if I would say I "miss" her. Do I? I'm not entirely sure. I think a part of me does miss her. The family feels off kilter without her here. It seems abnormally quiet. She's not really a loud kid in general and when she is here most of the time her nose is quietly stuck in a book (she is MY child all over) but she's here... her "soul noise" is in the house. Today it's gone. So I guess in a sense I miss her. I'm not about to burst into tears over her absence. She's 13 and she's a busy girl with lots of friends I'm used to her being out and about but in the quiet of the evening with the babies in bed, G-man reading, Mimi off writing at the computer, and Biggle being forced to do his 30 minutes of reading for the day it's REALLY quiet. These are my "Tinesy times of day." The times she loves to come and sit with me and rattle on and on about who is dating who and who is in love and who has broken up and all the latest in the Tinesy-verse.

Biggle went to movies today with the babies and The Man. They saw Cars 2. Loved it. I think he actually benefits from the absence of Tinesy because while that girl is a gift from God when it comes to Boo and Kitten she is a monster with the Biggle. Still haven't figured that one out. Like I said he's off being forced to read for 30 minutes. In this family with all the children before him once they could each REALLY read and get into chapter books it was a favorite escape for all of them. They have all been read to and love to read. Every last one of them. All of the oldest 3 children talk about possibly being novelists when they grow up. They all call themselves writers and they do write. They take the time and effort and they listen and find out how to be good writers and they work at it. They also know that good writers are good readers so they are all avid readers. Not so much with the Biggle. He is not into the fantasy/sci-fi genre like all his older sibs were at his age and still continue to be. Books like Harry Potter and Secrets of Droon and the like don't interest him... at all. G-man must have hundreds of books from throughout the years because not only does he loves reading he loves HAVING the books and putting them aside and taking care of them and treasuring his collection. We have tried, and failed, to entice the Biggle boy with those books.

The thing that gets me the most is his push-back when it comes to this. He knows that he is REQUIRED to read 20 minutes every night during the school year. Read his 20 min. and then get his form signed by either The Man or me to show his teacher he has done it. He pushes back with this and doesn't do it, sometimes many nights in a row. Regardless of it we remind and nag him. He's a great kid. He's obedient and well behaved and polite. He's a good student and gets good grades. He's very clever and very intelligent (different in my book). He's funny and he WILL read joke books, but getting him to read anything else is like pulling teeth. I have happened upon a series or two that have held his attention but at the end of a series getting him to move on is like trying to turn over an engine that's seized. Unstoppable force meet immovable object. It's crazy.

The thing that really throws me too is that he see's that ALL the "big people" in the family are voracious readers. I always have a book I'm reading or a fan fic I'm into. Always. I read every single day, for as long as I possibly can. The kids have all learned that the quickest way to flare my temper is to interrupt me repeatedly while I'm trying to read. I will be patient for a while and then eventually blow my top at them because I hate not being able to get through a single paragraph. The Man isn't a HUGE reader but he reads now and then. It just confuses me. I always felt that he, like the other kids, would be a reader because he see's it in his day to day life every single day. Guess not.

Anyway, truth is that I'm off in search of more books that will get him interested again. He finished all the "How to Train Your Dragon" books recently. So I'm on the hunt again. I am forcing him to read 30 minutes every day, because he has more free time than during the school year so I don't think 30 min is too much to ask. I just wish it wasn't so hard with him and I didn't feel like I was forcing him and nagging him :( I need to find a solution to this situation with him.