missing him

I love my children. I love all of my children. I love the man that I made all those kids with too. I love him in a way that I, me Wordy McWord, cannot even describe. I love him desperately and deeply and passionately. I love him with every cell in my body and with the essence of my being. He is the one person on this whole planet that makes each day worth living. He is the reason I can get out of bed in the morning and get through each day. I love my kids. I would do anything for them. The Man is the reason I live though.

Sometimes I feel like my heart has a "love meter" in it. A love meter that can only be filled up by him. I need to feel his arms around me, his hand in mine, his skin against mine, his breath in my hair, his voice in my ears... those are the things that fill up my love meter. I can see a little diagram of my heart and it shows the level that my love meter is currently filled to. Right now it's low... it's very low. Life has been crazy and the children have been unbelievably sick one after the other. Nights are filled with croupy coughs and fevers and crying children and steamy bathrooms. My evenings, that I treasure, along with him in a quiet house where I can fill up my love meter to get me through the next day have been interrupted with nebulizers and comforting little ones... so my love meter is running dry right now. Sadly that old saying "When Momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy" is all too true :(