A Checklist

So Mimi told us she was gay last month. Really, not even a bump in the road for us. Didn't ruffle a feather or even stir up a mild breeze. It's not an issue. It's irrelevant to us as her parents. We have no intention of ever being sexually involved with her so it's not relevant to us, period. Her relationships are relevant to us only in that we want her to be with someone that is a good person at heart, that treats her well, that loves her completely, and that fully understands the amazing person she is... male or female so long as the person she chooses to be with has those traits and does those things... we're good. She is our Mimi and she is perfect just the way she is.

Would I pick this for her? If there was some checklist during pregnancy that I could have checked off would I have picked... female, my eyes, The Man's cheekbones, tall, straight hair, artistic, smart, and gay. No. I wouldn't have. That simple. I wouldn't choose this for her. I don't get to CHOOSE these things though. Mimi was born who she is. She was born with my blue eyes and straight hair. She was born with the blond hair that her Dad had when he was a little boy. She was born with an artistic nature. She is gay. I believe that's the way she was born.

She was also raised in a loving, nurturing, accepting environment where she has never found anything but love and approval from her parents. I mean we, of course, have disapproved of bad behavior and all that like everyone else. She has been punished and grounded and had privileges taken away - of course. The environment though is one of love and acceptance. We still teach manners and enforce rules and make sure that the kids know that family comes first and school comes second. Their family is their foundation and their heart, school is their job and their priority (above friends, clubs, social, etc). The thing is that she has rules and structure and LOVE. We don't hit our kids. We don't unreasonably scold or punish them without cause. We reward good behavior and grades (not monetarily but with good behavior and good grades come greater privileges and benefits). So she feels free to express herself and be herself because she has NO doubt what-so-ever that she will be loved for exactly who she is. She knows she's not G-man and she's different from him and that we relish their differences. She knows she's not Tinesy and that she's her own person and that we adore them both for who they are. She just knows that in this house you are appreciated for who you are... always.

So would I ask for this for her? No. Gays still face a lot of hatred, violence, and discrimination in the world. Why would I ask for that for my child? I would like to make my child's life as simple and carefree as I could if I had a choice. I would love for my kids to never have to face down hatred. I know that's not how life works though. So I wouldn't chose this for her. I fully support and love her for EXACTLY who she is though. I am 100% behind her and I will stand beside her and hold her hand and make sure she knows that she isn't ever in this life alone in any of the challenges she faces.