G-man applied to his first University yesterday. I'm proud and yet terrified all at the same time. It's a surreal feeling. He is such an amazing kid I know he'll find his way. I wonder how *I* will though. Find a new normal without him here. Without seeing him every day. Without having him around. Without his unique sense of humor and way of making me laugh. Without him.
Boo saw his Pedi Endo this week. Same old, same old for the most part. He has gone from not being on the chart for height (what they call the first percentile... which is anything that falls below the chart) up to the seventh percentile. That's good news. I was a little surprised by that. Boo is still very small for his age but he's gaining. That made me smile. The Endo said that with his current trend he would expect Boo to be about 5' 5" or 5' 6" when he's fully grown... BUT that his bone age is delayed so actually he will likely grow for a longer period of time so he could get up to 5' 7" or 5' 8" in reality by the time he's 21 or 22. Not too shabby. I'm happy with that... either way that shakes out. He also told us that with the way things are going he thinks that he can cut down to seeing The Boo only once a year! Woohooo! That's one less regular Dr.'s appointment every year. All good. Over all the Endo is thrilled with Boo's growth and development and says that he'll keep an eye and keep up the bone age tests but that as far as he's concerned all is well. YAY!
Boo see's the Ped. Opt. Surgeon again this week. Those are still every 3 months like clock work and will continue to be for the foreseeable future. Seems to me there's been no major changes so I'm expecting to hear the same old thing... we can wait on his next surgery. That's what I figure. God knows I've been surprised by Dr.'s more than once in this journey with Boo so I never count on that as a guarantee but I think it's likely. We shall see.
All the rash of Dr.'s again got me thinking about the day when the Boo will become one of the many great "uninsureable" of our country. Every time this bubbles up and comes to the forefront of my attention it gives me sleepless nights. At some point, either 12 or 16 years from now depending on The Man's job and insurance coverage at the time, Boo will age out of his dad's insurance and become insurable. Not that we won't be willing to pay for insurance for him, because with his medical issues we would pay the ridiculously high prices they charge for personal medical insurance, but that he will not be able to get an insurance company to cover him due to his "existing conditions" and "high risk" assessment. He will NOT have any insurance and there will be nothing we can do about it. It scares me more than I have the ability to express. I pray that in the years between now and then that our government will come to the realization that there are too many people like Ben in this country that DESERVE medical care and cannot get it for reasons completely outside of their control. That's my hope... and really it's a very little hope at this point. With the religious right running this country and their completely UN-Christian-like attitudes of "fuck your neighbor, I'm out for number one" I don't know if there is any hope at all for him. I lie awake at night thinking about that. About what will become of him. What we will do for him. What his life will be. It infuriates me that my own family is putting these politicians in place to take away any hope for him. The only conclusion I am able to draw is that they just don't love him. They just don't. If they did they would care about him and his future and his medical situation and circumstance... and they just don't.
I'm also mad at the whole political world over the new bill they are trying to pass that says that it's okay to let a pregnant patient DIE on the table if an abortion would save her life without ever telling her that's what the issue is and that they COULD help her but instead they will withhold information and simply let her die on the table. By my way of thinking... that's murder. Flat out. MURDER. It's also reprehensible to me that a Dr. who has sworn to care for their patients would just sit back and let that happen. It comes down to being PRO-DEATH, especially considering that not only does the pregnant patient die but with her so dies the fetus, and ANTI-women. Oh look.... more misogyny from the far Right... what a surprise... only... NOT!!
So yeah. I think I fell asleep sometimes after 3am. Last time I checked the clock it was only a few minutes to three and it took me a bit to fall asleep after that. I was up at 8:30 with the Dynamic Duo who both spent the night in our room because they're both sick. Fun. NOT! So I'm running on empty and my brain is running away with me.
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