kind of a wow kind of a day

So, I saw the Dr. on Monday. Something I really HATE doing. I hate it so much that I forced The Man to take me cause I wasn't sure if I was behind the wheel I would actually end up at the Dr.'s office. Yeah, that's how much I hate it. Anyway, went and my BP wasn't so good but I hadn't taken my pills either, so what can ya do right? My weight wasn't as good as I had been hoping :( I was still 10 lbs. down from my weight in Feb but... well, I guess 10 lbs. is 10 lbs. Talked to the Dr. told him how my stomach is always a complete mess and everything makes me sick. He basically told me... yeah take Imodium and deal. Nice. Anyway finished it off by saying to get my blood drawn and that I need to get a mammogram... blech. Getting older is just not fun in so many ways.

So I had my blood drawn... after having eaten a bowl of sugar with milk and a few Rice Krispies on the side. Yeah... not cool huh? It's the only way I can tolerate Rice Krispies though!! What's a girl to do? So they drew my blood and we were off.

Dr. called this morning. Told me that my liver enzyme numbers continue to improve and go down. My cholesterol is also down a goodly amount so we're happy about that. Then he hit me with "but there were some problems with your blood sugar. You have diabetes." WOW huh? I tried to explain this to my BFF and she got it, so maybe someone else will too. It's not that I was particularly surprised to hear it, because I always knew that sooner or later I would get diabetes, but it was a shock to hear. Does that make sense? The thing is that things had been going pretty well in the blood sugar area. I had my blood sugar done in March after eating and they told me that my numbers were great... no problem at all. So to go from THAT to "you have diabetes" in less than 3 full months was just kind of shocking.

I have to admit that my first thoughts were of my Oma and how she died from diabetes... well, okay nobody officially dies from diabetes, you die from complications from diabetes. It wasn't pretty... it was pretty scary... and not a good way to go. That's pretty scary to think about honestly... so lets not okay?

I mean I think I can do this. I think I can handle this. I don't WANT to. I don't want to have to think about it all the time and deal with it all the time and think before I ever put anything in my mouth, but I have to. So I will. Like it or not.

The first person I told today, other than The Man of course, was my friend K. She said it so perfectly. It's not that this is the worst news in the world. Or that I'm afraid I'm going to drop dead tomorrow. No. It's not that. It's just ONE MORE THING. One more thing in my life to worry about or deal with or worry about. One more thing on my plate that is already overflowing it's so full. One more thing. I'm really getting tired of one more thing. Really.