It was just before Halloween and they had a cool robotronic witch set up in the produce department when you first walk into the store. Of course Boo and Kitten were both fascinated and thought it was VERY cool. TM was threw the two of them into one of the firetruck carts together and he was off to grab a few things. As is so often the case they climbed out of their firetruck coach and walked around close to the cart seeing what they could see. TM was reading a label and trying to decide between two different items when he turned around and Boo said, very calmly, "She's gone." ::::: sigh ::::::
Of course chaos ensued and TM ran for the customer service desk and told them that his 4 y/o daughter was missing. They called a code Adam and immediately sent out scores of employees to lock doors and scoured the store looking for her. She was found in less than 3 minutes... standing in the produce department, mouth agape, watching the witch going through her robotic motions. Two young men found her and, thankfully, knew not to freak her out and just knelt down to her level and talked to her about the witch and Halloween coming until TM arrived to scoop her up in his arms. He paid for what he had in the cart and came home still pretty shaken up, but okay over all. He said that the time when he realized she was gone until she was in his arms again was less than 5 minutes so he didn't have a lot of time to get really panicky. That's all good.
We had a long long talk with The Kitten about wandering away and staying with Mami or Daddy when she's out and how it can be dangerous for her to go off by herself. Did we get through? I have no idea. She's a headstrong little Kitten and while she heard us and repeated what we said back to us and told us about "stranger danger" if it really got through to her I have no way of really knowing. She's... I don't even know the right word for her... she's independent and strong... and really stubborn. She wants it her way or no way. This is something we wrestle over with her on a daily basis. It's a lesson that's going to be long and hard in coming... that she can't ALWAYS have her way and she HAS TO obey sometimes. She's a tough little bird.
Anyway, I tweeted about our code Adam. One of those moments in life. I had a mini panic attack just listening to TM tell me about it, and I had the Kitten curled up in my arms mewling while I stroked her at the time. Crazy. One of my fave Castle fan-fic authors tweeted me back asking if she could use our story about the Kitten in a fic she's writing where Castle and Beckett are married and have two little ones, a boy and a girl. I told her she could and told her about Boo saying "She's gone" and how, after the fact, incredibly hilarious that was. She agree'd and said that she loved that bit and cracked up hearing it but that it didn't fit her "older brother" character in the story... which of course set the wheels of my mind in motion.
When The G-man was 6 y/o he would have never allowed either of his little sisters to just wander off. He would have told them no or gotten our attention or done something to assure that she wouldn't have just wandered away alone. Biggle at 6 y/o would have done the same. He would have let us know. Honestly we would have heard because I know he would have been screaming "NO!! DON'T GO!" if one of his little sibs was trying to wander away alone. It's his way... his loud way whereas G-man was always quiet in his way. Boo though, Boo just let her go. He didn't say anything. He didn't tell her no. He didn't inform TM when she first wandered off. He just let her go. It made me wonder why.
We often, as in all the time, refer to Boo and Kitten as "The Twinnies." Kitten refers to herself and Boo that way all the time. "My twinnie this" or "My twinnie that" -- it's something she loves. Boo... not so much. Boo knows that he is older than Kitten. He knows that he's the "big brother" and he has two big bro's so he gets how all that works. He wouldn't wander off like that because it would scare him to do so (just like G-man that way). He did let Kitten do it though. It ate away at my brain as to WHY he would do that. I'll never really know why. I'll never get that out of the Boo but I can make my best guess. I think that the fact is that Boo knows that he's Kitten's OLDER brother. He's also really used to the fact at this point though that she can do more than he can. She talks better. She's more physically able and capable of doing things he can't. She's passed him developmentally in many many ways... and he's aware of that too. He KNOWS that. He's not stupid. He's slow and he's developmentally delayed and mentally handicapped but he's NOT dumb. He also see's his older sibs, some much much older than he is, doing their own thing all the time and living their lives. They're like more adults to him. He knows that they are his sibs and NOT like "real adults" to him, he has a different relationship with them than that, but it's part of his normal life existence. I think he's started too transfer some of that to the Kitten. She can go and do and be because she can do more than he can. It didn't occur to him to tell her no, anymore than it would occur to him to tell his almost 18 y/o brother not to go do something on his own, because it's just how things are. She is younger and smaller but she is capable... so he let her. When he saw Daddy obviously looking around for her he simply informed him "She's gone" in the same way that when one of the Lil 'Uns asks where one of the Olders are and we say "Oh s/he went out with friends to XYZ." No big deal, that's just how it goes. That's my reckoning anyway. I mean... I don't know. Maybe I'm totally off base, but that's as near as I can figure it.
Boo NOW knows that it was wrong and bad for her to wander off. We had a long talk with Kitten and we had a talk with Boo too. We told him that she can't do that and that she's still just little, and so is he. We told him next time he needs to tell her no or tell Daddy or Mami what's happening. I think he got that. I think.
I admit, for a little bit there I was feeling bad that he just let her go. He didn't think to stop her or tell Daddy. It hurt a little bit. That maybe he didn't care if she was okay or not. That maybe it didn't matter to him that she was going off on her own into a dangerous situation. I don't think that's it though. I've seen that same little guy tackle his little sister to keep her away from touching the hot stove top once. I know he cares and he loves her. So maybe this is just a narrative to help me not hurt or be scared. Maybe. It does help though.
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